this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
