Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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