The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
