you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
