i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
