rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
