I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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