Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
