i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just gargled with NyQuil
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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