I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
