This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
