you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
