Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.

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(630): View more from Illinois

she could've warned me his penis was curved

(708): View more from Illinois

ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober

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(518): View more from New York

Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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(714): View more from California

my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday

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(843): View more from South Carolina

What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!

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