I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm always down for nudity.
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