'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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