He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
