i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
