I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
