It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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