drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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