Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
