Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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