how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
