I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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