Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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