Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize