Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
