He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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