i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
as a side note pls kill me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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