I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
