I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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