what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
