The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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