Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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