what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
