addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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