I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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