my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
