Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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