i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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