don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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