That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
