Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
