i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
