Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
