This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
