Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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