i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
