i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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