You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
