Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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