Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
